Cow based Economics

[Tosh]

I think we are run by the banks.



*A Cow based Economics Lesson;

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

BANK (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

[mycar]

I like cow economics


The French,

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

The Italians,

You have two cows but you don`t know where they are. You wander around looking for them and spot a beautiful woman and break for lunch. Life is good.

The surrealists,

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Mike.