Hit man

[Ignatzcatz]

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner did'nt turn up."
"Sure," they said "you're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer, "So what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You are joking!" was the response.
"No I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend,
"Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her . . .He's starkers too!!
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand pounds every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."
"Then the neighbour, now he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, . . standing perfectly still for a minute.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just hold on a moment." said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here . . ."