Baby Polar Bear

[Bewildebeest]

A rather sad looking litle baby Polar Bear is walking across the ice one day when he meets his mother.
"Mum" he says, "I don't suppose there's any chance that I might be a Grizzly Bear ?"
"Of course not son, you're a Polar Bear" she replies.
"So" he tries again,"I couldn't be a Kodiak Bear either then ?"
"NO ! Definitely not" she says, this time rather tersely.
"Right, so... there's.... no chance at all that I might be a Brown Bear ?"
"NO NO NO. I'm a Polar Bear, your father is a Polar Bear, therefore you are a Polar Bear. Understood ?"
The baby Polar Bear steps back, surprised at the tone of her reply.
"OK, OK, sorry I asked"
He turns round and wanders off, rather dejectedly, across the ice.

Half an hour later he comes across his Dad, ripping the head off a baby seal.
"Dad......?"
"Yes son ?" replies the father Polar Bear through a mouthful of blubber.
"Is there anyway at all that I might actually be a Black Bear ?"
"Don't think so son, you're a Polar Bear" father Bear replies affably.
"And I'm not a Koala Bear either ?" says the baby Polar Bear, now starting to sound a little desparate.
"No son, YOU ARE A POLAR BEAR, OK ?
"OK, OK, so just one more question......Is there .....absolutely no way on Earth that .....one day I may turn out to be....... a .......Panda Bear ?"
"NO NO NO. I'm a Polar Bear, your Mother is a Polar Bear, all the other bears round here are Polar Bears, therefore you are a Polar Bear as well and thats the end of it."
Now, utterly dejected, the baby Polar Bear drops his head, says "Oh, right" and turns to walk disconsolately across the ice.
"Hang on a minute son, why do you ask ?" says his father.
Baby Polar Bear half turns, and says bitterly "Cus I'm f**kin' freezin' !"

[Mick Cliff]