1970 "S"

[BILLY BEAN]

Is it Love or Sex?
The 911S has been sat in the garage since mid October 2025 minding it's own business and coupled to a CTek. I have never made any special arrangements when storing a car for any length of time; moisture absorbing christals in the interior, clean the car ( definately not ), fill the fuel tank, empty the fuel tank, pump up the tires, cover in a blanket and kiss goodnight etc. No!
So since the 746 mile dash in France last year not really put on any miles.
The car has sat for four and a half months totally ignored. Recently with the rare fine and sunny day, all two of them, I did feel a stiring Iin my loins but there was no car action. Gardening took priority, cleaning and cutting down last year's growth. Whilst on my hands and knees in the mud I started to wonder that if there was no gardening to be done would I get the car out for a drive? Was I in love with the car or was it just sex? Metaphorically speaking as no one should get any images in their sordid little minds of me on my knees entering the exhaust pipe. Anyway the pipe is far too big for any satisfaction to be gained and is dirty. Although "dirty" was not an inhibiting factor when I was younger. However, approaching 78 and I know better. Sort of.
Well today it was warm and sunny. The two large wheelie bins were full with garden detritus so gardening was off the agenda. The bonus was Mrs Cuddles ( big misnomer) had gone to London for a pampering and rejuvenating session. Goes for a lot of that kind of stuff but I see no benefit. Gave myself a talking to. Put on some TU from Sainsbury's which SWMBO hates and decided to get the 911S out. When younger I was a glass half full person. Now older and more cynical it's half empty. I lie it's down to the last dregs. Consequently, would the old girl start? I don't mean the wife by the latter as she is out. Undoubtedly when she returns this evening she will 'start" as I have probably failed to do something I had commited to. Problem is memory fade. Selective variety.
Move the daily driver from infront of the garage door. Remove the CTek from the 911 and close the lid. Get in and inset ignition key and turn ignition on so the fuel pump does it's thing hopefully. I can't hear it but never could even prior to going deaf. Waggle my right foot on the accelerator. No idea why but it makes me feel I am contributing. Turn the ignition key and as if by magic the car starts first time on all cylinders. Pull the hand throttle up a bit and reverse out onto the road. Check instruments and fasten seat belt. All good so far. Head down the A44 to check brakes. Left hand indicator tell tail not working but indicators are fine. Where to? Not a good idea to wander aimlessly. Head north to Banbury and onto Caffeine and Machine. Traffic in Banbury at a standstill then crawling. Engine fine and no fluffing when the traffic clears and I press the go pedal. It's a reasonable road out of Banbury and overtaking a few slow moving vehicles gives me a little frisson.
Get to C&M and don't expect to see much. Lovely 1950's Aston Martin and a very attractive black woman on a big motorbike is about it. Unless you like small hatchbacks with coloured fairy lights on them and a loud exhaust which sounds absolutely shite? Generation Z anyone? Get a hot chocolate and sit in the sun. Head off towards Stowe on the Fosse way. Nice road surface and I can tell I am not in Oxfordshire where the road surfaces are pretty dire. Back in Oxfordshire and the broken road surfaces excites a new found rattle somewhere in the dash. Get to Moreton in the Marsh and head to Chipping Norton. Find I have a Boxster for company. Lots of twisty bits and exceed the limit for a while. Nice spirited drive. Gear changing seems a little reluctant and less good than usual. My imagination or just poor memory? The dog leg box is never going to be like knife through butter, unless the knife was cold and the butter just came out of the fridge. Once through Chippy at 20mph legal limit I Head for home and Woodstock. So a 73 mile round trip. Reflect; car runs well but interior more noisy than I remember but some road surfaces are the culprits.
So after a reasonable drive and nothing much untoward is it love or sex? Well like an attractive woman there are the aesthetic qualities to consider as part of the love and sex ( if you are discerning). The 911 has simple but attractive exterior lines with some nice but restrained brightwork. Nothing excessive. No proto tits as it were. And the interior is simple and restrained just how I like them. I admire the 911s usability and in this specific car it's reliability. It can be fun to drive in the right conditions and as I found out on my one hit 746 mile drive last year it can slog it out too. So a good 911 is a sound proposition with some admirable qualities and has character by virtue of the era it comes from but today I don't love it. The Supremes ( young people look them up) sang as did Phil Collins later, "You can't hurry love" ......you just have to wait. Nothing comes easy it's a game of give and take". Well over the years it has cost in restoration but not on running costs. I have owned the car for more than 12 years. The longest I have ever had a vehicle and although the song implores "you just have to wait" time is running out. I don't think it is love or sex just friendliness. Time to move on to something else? I have opined that belfore and still have the car.

[Lightweight_911]

.

Another entertaining report as always - thanks Kirk - made me chuckle a few times ...

If you do get round to selling, what characteristics/ features would you be looking for in its replacement ?

Any particular makes/models in mind ?


.

[BILLY BEAN]

Andy, thanks for the reply. I vasilate so often I am all over the place with regard to "what next". Many years ago I owned a series 1.5 E Type Coupe but it was a complete dog as I did not have much money. May be revisit that car but a decent one. More GT than a sporty vehicle. I recently, don't laugh, test drove a Bristol 411 series 3. Auto of course and rather big but it appealed to my fondness for an auto gentleman's motor. Although I am not gentleman. Also tried out a Stag Auto with a later 4 speed rather than the original 3. And finally a Jensen Interceptor. The V8 Auto seems to be the theme emerging. Fuel consumption of the Bristol and Jensen are a concern but I enjoyed driving both. Possibly as I get older something sedate is the thing for me I have owned three V8 in the past. An early Aston which was tank like and was not kept long and two modern Audi. The last one an A8 V8 Auto which at the time I was doing 20,000 miles PA for work was comfortable and quiet. So no short answer and really no answer at all yet.

[stretch]

Kirk, i know someone who might be selling a Facel Vega soon.

[Lightweight_911]

... at the time I was doing 20,000 mikes PA ...

.

[BILLY BEAN]

Kirk, i know someone who might be selling a Facel Vega soon.

Hilarious Dave
Expensive purchase just to smile once in a photo.

[hot66]

... at the time I was doing 20,000 mikes PA ...

.

Not that shocking Andy is it ? My wife did more than that last year and she works from home

[Bootsy]

Enjoyed your update - it’s good to know that at 78 you still have similar thoughts to myself at 54. I can look forward to a few more years yet!

[misteralz]

... at the time I was doing 20,000 mikes PA ...

.

Not that shocking Andy is it ? My wife did more than that last year and she works from home

I don't know you well enough to make a joke about there not being that many Michaels in Yorkshire and how comfortable you are about admitting to being so cuckolded, so I won't.

[BILLY BEAN]

Enjoyed your update - it’s good to know that at 78 you still have similar thoughts to myself at 54. I can look forward to a few more years yet!

Bootsy,
You are a young whippersnapper. Plenty of good in you yet. Stay healthy and you can write crap like I do in the years ahead.

[hot66]

.

Not that shocking Andy is it ? My wife did more than that last year and she works from home

I don't know you well enough to make a joke about there not being that many Michaels in Yorkshire and how comfortable you are about admitting to being so cuckolded, so I won't.

I knew I left myself open to that when I typed it

[misteralz]

[BILLY BEAN]

Costs and Confusion?
Been out in the car quite a bit since my last post. Starts first time every time. I think it does that so I have regrets about flogging the car.
A good friend has recently had some bad news regarding his engine which is still fairly fresh after a rebuild. It's going to be costly to sort out probably. The S does not cost a lot each year. WOA!! Even with well honed skills at man maths and wearing rose tinted glasses I think I am kidding myself, refuse to acknowledge or perhaps the early signs of substantial mental decay are impacting judgement. I have now had the car close to 13 years. Upon purchase of what looked a nice and shiny recently repainted car lurked a few problems. Some were obvious even to someone totally smitten. Bit like a new girl friend with lovely blond hair, fabulous teeth and long eyelashes. You ignore the fact that she may be a raving lunatic and tell yourself its just a little quirky character evident. Later you find out the hair is dyed and originally ginger ( no offence meant this is a fictional parallel) the eyelashes and teeth belong to a shopping expedition and are not her own. Well the obvious bits I told myself that needed sorting on the car were the outer sills and the drivers door was too friendly with the B post but the colour was so pretty. Suckered.
The B post had been subject to an ancient accident in the USA as was the carefully bodged rear quarter. Decide a visit to a Cellete jig was in order. Whilst the suspension was off get it restored. New outer sills, inners were fine, new B post and rear quarter. Two small holes in the rear parcel shelf and the lower corners of the front and rear screens repaired. Otherwise the shell was in excellent condition. The interior was all original but the headlining was very baggy and the colour of something you would find in the bottom of a badly maintained public toilet. So replacement required. Of course with the repairs a repaint was required. Fortunately, I had a mate that paints cars really well. A few rechromed bits, obtain the period correct Fuchs wheels and new tires and we were done. So the costs of all of the above had been conveniently discounted in overall running costs. Silly me. Enjoyed the car until late 2019 when I had a suspicion that the noise from the engine told me all was not well. I had of course been studiously ignoring the oil leak from the engine, the oil emanating from the MFI pump and the increasing difficult gear change and knackered synchros. Interestingly I consulted two very well know early Porsche companies who both said leave the engine alone. Upon dissembly of the engine the timing chains were about to exit stage left. I could live with the synchros as I was taught by my dad to double declutch on down changes. This was a hard lesson to learn in a SWB series 2 Land Rover with no synchromesh at all. Each time I cocked up a down change and the sound of crunching gears echoed in my head I was hit with a clip around the ear to add to my nervousness. Makes you learn quite quickly. Something I applied when I was teaching.
So late 2019 dawns and an engine rebuild by Gary Cook and a gearbox rebuild by Mr Bainbridge of the Lakes. I dealt with all the cosmetic bits and Fred restored the MFI pump. Gentle refresh of the cosmetic bits as I did not want it to look too new. Difficult to get right though. Of course Covid interfered a bit but got there in the end. Generally both rebuilds were successful and I appreciated how much power had gone missing prior to the rebuilds. So more cost that I have ignored. However, since the rebuild there have been no issues and the only costs have been insurance and oil and filter changes. So if you ignore the foregoing the car has cost little to maintain each year. See how confused I am?
This week decided to have a few cosmetic jobs sorted; repaint wiper arms, replate the seat runners, new carpet to the back of the rear seats, replate the gear lever and some remedial work on the original carpet if we can find some old stuff that suits and a few other minor bits of refresh. The idea is to show a well maintained car not a concourse specimen. So further confusion. Why I am I doing this when I am thinking of selling the car? I have told myself that it will improve the prospects of a sale or am I telling myself a grand porky? Time will tell. I still love the aesthetics of an early 911. Still the girlfriend I so fancied years ago, from that point of view, despite everything even without the false eyelashes.
So if I add it all up including the cost of the original purchase it exceeds the value of the car. Not clever economically. But I have made some excellent friends through Porsche ownership and as a good friend says you can't put a price on that.

[jtparr]

As they have said Kirk….love the updates…don’t sell….we will all be a lot poorer for the lack of your diary……

Jonathan

[rhd racer]

Very true - the colour of a poorly maintained public loo indeed!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk