Soon, he's walking quickly, then he's jogging, before long he's even eating celery. He runs faster and faster... Usain Bolt can't keep up. A blacksmith forges titanium conrods on his six pack in slow motion... Eventually, pursued by a posse of schoolkids gone berserk, he sprints up Philadephia Museum of Art staircase, arms aloft, with The Eye Of The Tiger playing in the background.
I'm that guy.
Only my disgrace, my ignominy, my dishonour, is not a massive fat belly (actually I have one of those too, but that's another matter). My shame is a cluttered garage.
I have a problem. I admit it.
That old piece of tat. That old, useless thing. That bit of cr@p there - IT MIGHT COME IN HANDY ONE DAY. IT'S TOO GOOD TO THROW AWAY. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT NEED ONE OF THOSE.
That tool I just saw for sale that I lived perfectly well for 50 years without - WHAT A BARGAIN. THAT WILL SAVE ME A LOT OF TIME WHEN I NEED IT. I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
It's a disease, I know. But the first step is putting my hand up and admitting it. I have a long and difficult road ahead shedding all this clutter and mess. I need your support and encouragement. Together we can achieve...
PORSCHE RAUM.
(that's room to put a Porsche in)
Tomorrow I begin. Today, I make room for spare SSI heat exchangers , six massive rolls of tissue and a tool roll.
DON'T JUDGE ME!!! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN THROW THE FIRST STONE!!!
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