A group of Essex girls have died and are lining up to get into heaven (I don't know why so many Essex girls died at the same time...maybe there was a stampede for a shoe sale at Lakeside Shopping Centre!
Anyway, St. Peter asks the first girl in the line "Have you had any contact with a man's p$%@s?"
"I touched one once with my finger" says the girl.
"Then dip your finger into this font of holy water and you may enter heaven" is St. Peter's reply.
She dips her finger in the water and as she enters through the pearly gates St. Peter poses the same question to the next girl.
"I held one in my hand once" says the girl shyly.
"Dip your whole hand in the holy water and you may enter heaven" says St. Peter.
This girl dips her hand into the water and as St. Peter watches her enter heaven there is a commotion further back in the line and a girl pushes her way to the front of the queue.
"What is your hurry, my child? There is room in heaven for everyone" asks St. Peter.
The girl explains "If i'm going to have to gargle that water I want to do it before my friend Michelle has to stick her a£@e in it!"
It may be only because I live here but that does make me laugh.