Funnies from up front

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Ignatzcatz
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Funnies from up front

Post by Ignatzcatz »

This lot is a golden oldie bunch which I'm sure goes back to the days when Qantas were operating 1049G's but I thought a re-visit could be in order.
Following flights the Qantas pilots filled out a dossier which advised the engineers of any problems they had encountered during the operation. Comments and responses from the engineers are shown and as far as I know all are genuine.
Pilot: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
Engineer: Almost replaced left inside main tyre
P: Test flight OK except auto-land very rough
E: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
P: Something loose in cockpit
E: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
E: Live bugs on order
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200ft per min descent
E: Difficult to reproduce problem on ground
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
E: Evidence removed
P: DME volume unbelievably loud
E: DME volume set to more believable level
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
E: That's what friction locks are for
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode
E: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
P: Suspected crack in windshield
E: Suspect you are right
P: Number 3 engine missing
E: Number 3 engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Target radar hums
E: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
P: Mouse in cockpit
E: Cat installed
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
E: Hammer taken away from midget
Porsche 356B T6 (modified), Porsche Macan Turbo , Porsche SSE, Dax 289 Cobra, Buell S2 Thunderbolt, Honda ST 70/125, Harley Davidson custom evo softail
jtparr
DDK 1st, 2nd and 3rd for me!
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Re: Funnies from up front

Post by jtparr »

Excellent...particularly love the last two lines... :lol:
1974 2.7 Carrera
(full restoration. now as an RS Touring)
1963 3.8 E Type
( 11 years in the making…………………….)
1952. XK120…the next one ……….……..)
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richkaz
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Re: Funnies from up front

Post by richkaz »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
“Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three
decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good "..

1971 911 2.2T sold
1970 911 2.2S Sold but remains within DDK
1959 Lancia Flaminia PF Coupe
b4wrc
DDK Newbie
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Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:09 pm

Re: Funnies from up front

Post by b4wrc »

Brilliant first heard of these as responses to helicopter pilots during Vietnam War.

Flight engineers had a very poor opinion of pilots who were only there to wreck the helicopters they were trying to maintain
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