DDK - Die Deutschen Klassiker

It had been snowing all night, so at

8.00: I made a snowman
8.10: A feminist passed by and asked me why didn't I make a snow woman.
8.15: So I made a snow woman
8.17: My feminist neighbour complained about the size of the snow woman's big breasts (I'm a bloke!) saying it demeaned women.
8.20: The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
8.22: The transgender person asked why I didn't make just one snow person with detachable parts.
8.25: The vegans at the end of the road complained about the carrot nose, saying food shouldn't be used as decoration.
8.28: I am being called a racist because the snowman is white (I've seen yellow snow but I've never seen brown snow.)
8.31: The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wears a burka.
8.40: The police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8.42: The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicts women in a domestic role.
8.43: The Council Equalities officer arrives and threatens me with eviction.
8.45: The TV news crew from the BBC show up and ask if I know the difference between snowmen and snow women? I reply "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.
9.00: I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9.10: My children are taken by social services.
9.15: Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be locked up.

There is no moral to this story, it's just the world today and it's going to get worse!

I’m quite surprised health and safety weren’t round too.
What happens if a burglar walks into that in the dead of night and falls on his crowbar and sustains serious injury. You are going to be in serious bother for not having your snowpersons wearing reflective jackets, coned-off and illuminated at night.

Regards
Mike

Been thinking about this and just to be sure I’d have a notice made up at the end of the drive explaining how things can be slippy underfoot in your garden following snow or extremely cold weather (you’d better add a figure just to be sure, say ‘ likely at or below zero degrees centigrade’, and that the snow many pile up or accumulate ‘for whatever reason’ in any part of your property. This may continue to be so until well after the visual signs of whiteness have disappeared.

That should cover you for burglars, the postpersons, binpersons and neighbours etc.

Regards
Mike

I came here for old cars.

Kindly naff off to the Daily Mail jokes page with this.

It makes me sad that there are people that share my hobby that think this sort of thing is funny.

Sam wrote:I came here for old cars.

Kindly naff off to the Daily Mail jokes page with this.

It makes me sad that there are people that share my hobby that think this sort of thing is funny.

Snowflake ?

I think you have to be a millennial to be a snowflake...

what's a snowflake?

Mike wrote:I think you have to be a millennial to be a snowflake...

Wot about us snowman ?

richkaz wrote:Snowflake ?

Not me man. I was just joking.

I'm just as much of a racist and homophobe as the next man.