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Banned from Sainsbury's

Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:37 pm
by 210bhp
Banned from  Sainsbury's 

 


 
Yesterday I was at my local  Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had  a dog.

What did she think I had,  an elephant? So, since I'm  retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't  have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I  probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd  lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of  most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was  essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load  your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time  you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and  I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically  everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified,  she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food  poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish  Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was  going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.  I'm now  banned from Sainsbury's.
Better watch what you ask retired  people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft  things to say.

Re: Banned from Sainsbury's

Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:45 pm
by mycar
:lol: Didn`t realise you`d retired Mike.

Regards, Mike.

Re: Banned from Sainsbury's

Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 7:54 pm
by JB-L
Simply brilliant!

Re: Banned from Sainsbury's

Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 8:09 pm
by Ant22
Brilliant!

Re: Banned from Sainsbury's

Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 10:04 pm
by jamie
Brilliant work.

Had a similar exchange with an idiot work colleague whilst driving through Germany a few years back. He asked why every motorway exit was signposted 'Ausgang'. I told him that Ausgang was a town in the centre of Germany, where Hitler's transport manager was born. In tribute to him, all autobahns were built radiating out from there, and that is why every exit is signposted as such.

In retrospect, it doesn't make sense, but it didn't matter cos the divot totally bought it.