Banned from Sainsbury's
Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Banned from Sainsbury's
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210bhp
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Banned from Sainsbury's
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73 RS (Sold)
67 S
Mint T (Sold)
996 Turbo (Sold)
73 2.4E (home after 25 years) and Sold again
73T targa (signal yellow project)
1953 Vauxhall Velox
914/6
1963 356B
https://www.mybespokeroom.com/
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mycar
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Re: Banned from Sainsbury's
Didn`t realise you`d retired Mike.Regards, Mike.
1959 S
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Re: Banned from Sainsbury's
Simply brilliant!
I love the smell of burnt rubber and hydrocarbons in the morning, it smells of......victory.
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Re: Banned from Sainsbury's
Brilliant work.
Had a similar exchange with an idiot work colleague whilst driving through Germany a few years back. He asked why every motorway exit was signposted 'Ausgang'. I told him that Ausgang was a town in the centre of Germany, where Hitler's transport manager was born. In tribute to him, all autobahns were built radiating out from there, and that is why every exit is signposted as such.
In retrospect, it doesn't make sense, but it didn't matter cos the divot totally bought it.
Had a similar exchange with an idiot work colleague whilst driving through Germany a few years back. He asked why every motorway exit was signposted 'Ausgang'. I told him that Ausgang was a town in the centre of Germany, where Hitler's transport manager was born. In tribute to him, all autobahns were built radiating out from there, and that is why every exit is signposted as such.
In retrospect, it doesn't make sense, but it didn't matter cos the divot totally bought it.
'68 912