Highbrow jokes

bjmullan · Post by **bjmullan** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:26 pm

Don't worry Mike I will get this thread back on track...

A woman comes home to find her string theorist husband in bed with another woman. “But honey,” he says, “I can explain everything!”

kvinyl · Post by **kvinyl** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:38 pm

There is a sign in Munich that says, "Heisenberg might have slept here."

Post by **Bootsy** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:07 pm

Two tomatoes walking up the street.

One says to the other................

Ketchup!

That's highbrow.

sladey · Post by **sladey** » Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:29 pm

That's Pulp Fiction that is.

mycar · Post by **mycar** » Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:49 am

What do you call two crows on a branch ?

bjmullan · Post by **bjmullan** » Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:59 am

Attempted murder.

mycar · Post by **mycar** » Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:06 am

He he ! I`m officially a highbrow jokester.

Jonny Hart · Post by **Jonny Hart** » Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:47 am

A Buddhist monk at a hotdog stand: “Make me one with everything.”

bjmullan · Post by **bjmullan** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:27 pm

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Midlifecrisis · Post by **Midlifecrisis** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:40 pm

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog?

Bewildebeest · Post by **Bewildebeest** » Mon Feb 10, 2014 7:16 pm

Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One turns to the other and says
"Can you smell fish ?"

IanMcLeod · Post by **IanMcLeod** » Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:19 pm

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

It is Einstein's turn so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one metre by one metre square on the ground then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims "Newton! I found you, you are it!".

Newton smiles and says "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square metre and as everyone knows that is a Pascal".

Ian.

IanMcLeod · Post by **IanMcLeod** » Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:22 pm

Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

sladey · Post by **sladey** » Thu Mar 13, 2014 3:57 pm

IanMcLeod wrote:Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

inaglasshouse · Post by **inaglasshouse** » Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:06 pm

Two cats on a roof. Which one slips off?

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The one with the lowest Mu.

You're welcome.

DDK - Die Deutschen Klassiker

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