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Waxoil….
I really wanted to get some of this into the Land Rover's chassis before I started using it, so tonight was planned to be the night for waxoiling the inside of the chassis….
I had gone to Halfords and bought 2 gallons, and knocked off work early…
I also had the real benefit that SWMBO was out tonight, so I had since 3.00pm been shoving the 2 gallon cans into the sink with near boling water…….
I should have known things were going to go “slightly wrong” when I started….
I decided to use a Waxoil gun, and my compressor, I had the propane burner on in the workshop since 3.00pm flat out and it was like the sahara, in fact it was so hot I decided a T shirt and shorts was the dress code………
Grabbing some white spirit to further thin the waxoil I entered the kitchen and unscrewed the waxoil lid…
Thhhhuuuumpppppppp !…grwat big snotty big dollop spewed out over the kitchen worksurface........, no probs I thought, ...I’ll sort that out when I’ve finished, as I might make "a little bit more mess yet", .....glad Sues not in….
Clutching bloody hot waxoil injector thingy, part filled with waxoil and mixed with very very warm white spirit I squirted and soaked the chassis blasting away, and also practising holding my breath .....as it went misty in the workshop….
1 Gallon later I was nearly there, I was at the rear cross member, with yet another huge refill…….
I ought to point out that I had also decided that at some of the angles I was at pulling and holding the trigger was a pain in the ar&e...( I have a really bad back) so I had devised a cunning lock of an elastic band on the trigger so that I could let it do it things whilst it sprayed away……
Shove tube into hole and pull trigger….lock and waggle etc…
Enter my wifes love of her life…..
The cat….
It sat there and looked at me the way only a cat can….it sniffed (unapprovingly) the dripped waxoil, and I said…
“Huh, you don’t want to be in here matey, this stuff will stick to your fur like sh*t to a blanket”……and at that very point the jammed on tube extension came off the gun…
Could I release the elastic band round the trigger ?…
Could I boll*cks….
The gun squirted warm waxoil/white spirit out at a force never so far experienced, one particularly good jet hit the cat, who bolted, knocking over the 2/3 empty (1/3 full!!) can of hot waxoil/white spirt mix, which flowed oh so well under the landy, and into my clothes T shirt and clothes and skin areas exposed..., but I was still fighting with the hot octopus trying to switch the damned thing off, but I failed, I was saved when it just ran out…..
Just when I thought nothing could get worse than lying under a Land Rover with waxoil soaked clothes, waxoil dripping onto my hair and face, and running into my ears….
Some waxoil drpped onto the lead lamp….
Ping….
Blackness…….
Blackness as it also pinged the fuse for the lighting circuit, getting myself out of the underneath of the landy proved friutfull, in that I knew all the places that waxoil had “leaked” ……
Removing dripping clothes I entered house in “minimal Clothes” to resolve fuse prob, when Lights went on I saw the cat…
I AM GOING TO DIE IF SHE SEES THIS !
Here Puddie cattie……
This did not improve the sink/kitchen area one little jot, .....ever tried holding a 'waxoiled cat' in a sink with water and rags, and especially when cat does not enjoy it ?….
1 hour later cat was scrubbed and very Censored off with me, I’ve had 2 baths, and also cleaned the bath it seems that the bath will not be rusty….scrubbed kitchen fllor, sink, worktop
Will she notice….
Cat stinks, garage sticks, alley way stinks, I stink, kitchen smells of lemon washing up liquid, which strangely we seem to nearly be out of ?….floor stinks……
She will be back any minute…….
[gulp]
Nice job on the Landy tho....... ))
....UPADTE...............
...later that evening......
Alleyway door closes and SWMBO walks in.....
"have a nice time dear ?......."
"what the HELL is that smell ?"
"Smell ?....er do you mean the waxoil ?"
"Is that what it is - its disgusting"
"Er..really"....
"yes really, the alleyway stinks, I mean I could smell it when I got out of the car..."
"er...really ?"
"yes, Really, I mean my G*d its stinking everywhere out, its even permutated the house "
"really"
"yes really and [ picks up cat - I look away at telly and pray]...and ....good grief even the cat smells of it its ....[ at this point the cat growls at Sue.....probably hand enough of being "handled" during the evening...]..."WELL if your going to be like that madam you grumpy old thing" ...[places cat down firmly - cat grumbles some more].. cat exits still grumbling
"Charming.........well.....Anyway, have you finished.........?"
THOUGHTS...............
I've got away with it...."yes dear thanks"...
I've got away with it...."all done"...I've got away with it...."think I'll have a beer"...I've got away with it....I've got away with it...."Would you like a glass of wine ?"....I've got away with it....yippee....I've got away with it....and
SHE'S GOT THE HUMP WITH THE CAT TOO - NOT ME !!
Beer....
Bed....
RESULT....... !
But a bit close for comfort......far to close